Boarding Recovery

Groups

The following are the groups and workshops currently either run or recommended by our psychotherapists and counsellors.

Please contact the respective group leader for more details or to reserve a place.

~~~~~

coming home

Boarding school survivors are characterized by many positive qualities. Often there is an individuality and a creativity, an ability to tough things out, and a capacity to endure privations with good humour. But there are costs too. The humour sometimes covers profound emotional and spiritual wounds. In order to survive our schooling we may have sought to amputate an important part of ourselves, a part that isn’t necessarily a “winner” or successful, but loving and vulnerable. Our partners may be aware of a certain subtle absence, a lack of trust or intimacy that has become second nature to us. It is as if we were taught only too well how to be private, self-reliant, coping individuals. Boarding school made us a master of disguises. When it comes to adult, intimate relationships, we need to recover spontaneity, self-expression, a willingness to risk all and be hurt – or be loved. Our caution and calculation are then a huge obstacle.

This is problematic for us to talk about because boarding school was sold to us as something that made us special and uniquely loved. We had the good fortune, we were given to understand, to have parents able and willing to make great sacrifices so that we would have a head start in life. Is it suprising then that we find it such a challenge to speak about the actual joylessness of much of school life, the emotional withdrawal, the sense of being trapped, the torment of isolation, secretiveness and shame that was in reality a large part of our daily existence? We were sent away to an institution that could feed us, educate us, teach us sports and social skills and how to be a confident manipulator, but one that could never give us a parent’s love.

We adapted, of course, to this abrupt, bewildering alteration in our young lives. We learned the rules, kept ourselves busy and, from sheer necessity, we hid our longing for our home and family. Pretty soon we cut ourselves off from our loving feelings, because to miss as much as we did would be too painful to bear. How did we survive and become sexual adults, in a cold, rule-bound place from which everything soft or tender was removed? How did we compensate and how do we live this out today?

If you want to discuss participating in the workshop or to reserve a place, please call Marcus Gottlieb on 07973 322819 or email marcusgottlieb@gmail.com. The workshop fee is £170. Venue in Notting Hill.

~~~~~

boarding school survivors therapeutic workshops

Workshops for adult ex-boarder men and women.

Course in single gender groups of up to 12 participants with two trained facilitators.

A non-residential 4-day course held over 2 weekends with a month or so in between. Participants must commit for both weekends.

Currently run annually in the autumn on roughly similar dates each year. Early booking is advised since Boarding School Survivors often have to turn candidates away.

Venue: North London, adjacent Hampstead Heath.

Some bursaries available. B&B list sent on request. See web brochure.

Men’s course: 29-30 October and 3-4 December 2011. 10am - 6pm. Cost £380.00 for both weekends.

Women’s course: 8-9 October and 19-20 November 2011. 10am - 6pm. Cost: £360.00 for both weekends.

NB. Both weekends must be attended since they are an integral part of the whole course.

boarding school survivors course for professionals

Diploma Training for counsellors and therapists in Specialist Psychotherapy with ex-boarders

Let Boarding School Survivors know if you are interested in their next training.

Referrals and opportunity to work on BSS groups available

You do not need to be a BSS yourself to apply. 4 modules Friday and Saturday, plus supervision. Please ask here for full details.